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Showing posts from 2009

Life's Like That

The festive season being round the corner, lady and hubby gets invited for an Xmas party. It was a last minute invite with additional complications - it was a theme party (red and white) and they were supposed to take two gifts each for less than Rs.100.
In between a mad rush to get a red and white outfit for hubby, both are discussing what would be an ideal gift...Lady, being the eternal dreamer suggested candle sticks. pen holders, cute teddies and curios.
Hubby kept saying no to each idea while urging the lady to think practically and come up with a 'useful' gift idea. Lady was getting irritated by hubby's practical nature, till she had the last laugh by suggesting the most practical gift that she could think of for Rs. 100.
With a bright smile she told hubby, "Now, you can't say no to this one...Every household would need this...I've come up with this one after applying rational thought ..." And when hubby gave his nod of approval, lady presented her gra…

Random Doubts

Some questions that have crossed my mind last week, in no particular order of significance:
1. If we could actually hear God talking to us, how would that be?
2. When you say something and your friend responds in the line of - "but that's not the topic of discussion", is your friend being rude or are you being hyper-sensitive ?
3. Is physical stamina the most underrated ingredient in happy parenting?
4. What are the small things that make a big difference to your loved ones?
5. Much as I like to think of myself as a broad minded individual, what are some of the prejudices that i still have?
6. Is it ok to mix spirituality with charity? Most charities that I wish to support have a clear religious leaning and I am having a problem with that. I am not sure why.
7. Does it require more strength to be an atheist or a believer? The doubting middle path of course, is the easiest :)
As the festive season rolls in, maybe, I will spend more time in introspection and turn some of the answe…

Manners

These days I often wonder as to when is the right time to start teaching my son some "good manners". Then again, with globalisation and all that jazz, what manners do you essentially teach? Or are manners more fundamental than etiquettes? As in, maybe the underlying ideas of compassion,love,kindness,honesty etc remain the same , but their manifestations differ from place to place. So maybe what I need to teach is not actually manners, but a sensitivity and appreciation of these ideas, so that he is flexible enough to model his behaviour to reflect these feelings to the recipient. Afterall, I strongly believe that in most situations in life, you need to be honest only to yourselves. For all the rest, its perceptions that matter, not truth !

Colonies

I have never lived in a colony, but have very fond memories of life in a colony. Every vacation, we used to visit cousins who lived in a colony. My fondness was due to several reasons:
- The houses looked similar, (but were not carbon copies like some villa projects these days) - The roads were semi-private - i.e mostly were used only by residents who were careful about children who cycle around and play street football or cricket - It was self-sufficient - there was a post-office, playground,grocery shop and vegetable shop right inside the colony and a bus-stop and auto-stand right outside - There were a lot of children who were our age-group , which meant vacations were great fun - You could easily get lost in the cob-web of roads inside the colony , but never truly be lost 'cos whichever way you walked you had to sooner or later reach home... (well,hubby dear would have a different story to tell, about how I made him go round and round in circles inside that colony in the dead …

On Hope

When tears cloud my judgement
Your face seems like a monster's
I can never match up to your devious plans
But still I struggle
Just to stay afloat
Like a vulture you wait
To hear that last breath

I look at the blue sky
But, your shadow clouds my vision
You scream away my joys
You shout out my fun
You've pinned me down
And skinned my feathers
I am your prey, I fully understand
But I've promised myself "never again"
And the last laugh shall surely be mine...

New feathers shall sprout
And you shall tire waiting
I'll fly away when I'm ready
Never to be back
Never to be attacked

Clearing the Clutter

It's strange how people around you can affect your thoughts...even if they are not very dear to you, just by their constant presence and banter they influence you, and before you know it, you are making excuses for the person that you are...which is something that should never happen, in my opinion...
For the past several months, life had been moving ahead at such a fast pace that I never had the time to sit back and sort through the thoughts in my head...and to classify them as "originated by me" or "planted by others"...Finally things reached a tipping point and I decided that it's time to take stock of life in general...
And I realized and affirmed to myself that...
1. No one has the right to make me feel guilty of my choices...The baby was a conscious choice that hubby and self made...I wanted my child to have a certain kind of life, most important of which was that I wanted him to grow up with family and not with maids...Fortunately for me, my mom offere…

The Magic Moments

I was thinking of magicians the other day...People often tell you to follow your passion while selecting a career. I am sure most magicians would have been fascinated with magic when they were young...Or rather, all kids are fascinated with magic when they are young...The passionate ones follow their dreams and go on to become magicians...But, once there, it is all mechanical work...The "Awe Factor" of magic is gone...
Does that disillusion the magician?Or does he comfort himself saying "the journey was worth it!"?
On a more spiritual note, did God feel the same way after creating the world? A feeling of "tired and it wasn't worth it after all" ?
On a wider context, is it better to let some miracles be rather than trying to unravel them all? Are some dreams better left alone as dreams ? Is it necessary to always break down all your dreams into goals,sub-goals,milestones etc, create elaborate plans, and work towards their fulfillment? Isn't it bett…

Vikram Aur Vethal

The other day we went to a relative's house and she insisted on feeding my son something. I tried refusing as politely as possible, however she was persistent and started offering him cut apple pieces which he promptly threw around the house, while I did the 'catch-it-before-it-falls-down-and-pop- it-into-own-mouth' tactic.
Next she offered him banana chips. I again refused - reasons being 1. He was already full 2. He usually throws around stuff and I am not visiting someone's house to teach my son discipline (I'd rather prevent such situations as he is too young to be disciplined in my view) 3. I am trying to raise my son in a way that he appreciates healthy food and not oily snacks.
I gave her reason 1 as I was sure she will definitely not appreciate reasons 2 and 3.
She again persisted and this time she said, "I am just playing with the kid.." and turning to him "..baby, offer this to your mom". I relented expecting her to give the chips in his …

Update !

Haven't blogged in a while now, except to use this platform as my crib space...And I have been missing this space as a platform to express my intelligent (:P) views on life as I see it...I have been busy otherwise, though...Hubby dear has passed his exams, baby is a year old (no longer a baby), and I am at that stage in my career when I want a change... Thankfully, my firm is going in for a restructuring exercise and hopefully I'll be doing something different soon and that will satisfy my urge for variety :) ..I wonder why some of us are always looking for variety and change while others dread them and are quite happy with the status quo...
One of my biggest disappointments when i had my baby was that I'd be tied down for quite some time in one place...Ok, literally you could travel with a baby,and there are many who do it, but personally I wanted to be sure that my son has inherited our 'travel freak gene' before we subjected him to it...Parenting is the most chall…

Stuck !

When you are stuck between the devil and the deep sea and you don't know swimming, the choice is obvious right ? You atleast have a fighting chance with the devil :P

When the World Celebrates Your Birthday...

...ok maybe,not quite...But atleastMalayalees all over the world would be celebrating your birthday year after year and eating sumptuous lunches wearing new clothes...
My sweet lil' baby, here's a recount of how everyone who cares deeply for you went out of their way to make the day extra special for you...
I had planned the menu with your granny much in advance...We bought all the vegetables...You dad grated the coconuts and everyone pitched in to make all the items in the sadya...forgetting their illnesses and their fiery tempers, our family came together to enjoy the greatest joy in our lives...YOU !!! Now, if only your cousin, your valiyamma and valiyachan were also around it would have been perfect !
I was quite tensed about how it will all turn out, but in the end the day left me with a lot of special memories...
And when people whom you haven't even met send across their love to you, then my son, you are truly blessed !
Here's wishing you happiness, health, peac…

Just One Question...

When you killed the other four, why did you give me a different fate?
It would have spared us both a lot of heartaches, right?

Fiction...

She had stepped out to the balcony to feel the sun…Sitting in the cubicle makes one lose track of time. And then she saw the construction work happening below. The earth was being piled. She had only learned about piling in her basic civil engineering course…But now, she saw it in action…The brown muddy water which formed rivulets…Mud caked men mixing concrete and pouring it into a vast drum which was connected to the underground by a pipe… The poet in her felt like the earth was crying…in agony…and the molten concrete was being poured into her heart..and pounded..on and on…till she stopped crying and was ready… No wonder they call her “Mother Earth” and not “Father Earth”… she mused to herself and returned back to her dark cubicle…

Self Reflection...

...Have been doing that quite a bit in the past few days...One of the things I was shy about in my younger days (yep, I am growing older :( ...) was to ask for help....I used to be very shy to ask for even the smallest of favours...Came adulthood and MBA and some rough corporate years and I slowly learned the art of asking for help...and most often got it...But the occasional times I was refused, especially in my personal life, made me miserable...These instances used to rattle me so badly that I have often wondered whether it is worth all that heart ache...that gnawing pain which makes you feel shunned by loved ones.... And then I spent some considerable time pondering about it...and realised that the key is to analyse the situation before asking for help...and this is the analysis I do these days..."If they refuse to help, will I be able to do it myself?" and if the answer is no , then I don't ask for help...because if I can't / won't do it for whatever reason…

I Just Wrote...

We've been through one of the toughest years of our lives...and one of the most magical too...we took on responsibilities that we were ill-equipped to...the baby,the exams, the job...it was tough on both of us...people who were supposed to help out...either had better things to do and different priorities or else expected us to feel totally obligated to them for helping us...is that what loved ones are expected to do? I'm not sure, and anyway that's the topic of another post...This post is about us...
I've written earlier as well, about how "if it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger"..and today, I realise that the "you" refers not only to people , but relationships as well...We've survived the year, and I'm sure our relationship has become much more stronger - thanks to the experience...
Several times during the year, I've never got the time to stop and count my blessings...But everytime, I was relaxed enough to do it...…

Two Roads

We all face it at some time or the other...a deep sense of bewilderment....You choose a road expecting a certain view , but then after toiling hard for what seems like an infinitely long time, there still is no sign of the beautiful vistas whose dreams propelled you during those hard and lonely paths...You suddenly realise how lonely the travel had been and how hard...and you wonder whether its time to turn back and choose a different road...The weariness hits you hard...and you feel your knees weaken....when do you finally stop torturing yourselves and call it quits?When your spirits are thoroughly crushed, where do you then find the courage to atleast move on?

Just a Note..

...to say I remembered

Money Vs Principles

Are your principles only valid as long as the weather is fair? For example, it is lofty to say that one will always speak the truth, but the strength of the principle is manifested when one has something to hide and still chooses the truth. We all have varying degrees of righteousness, and we justify ourselves into believing that our comfort zone is the perfect balance - anything lesser is immoral and unethical and anything more is idealistic and self-defeating ! And then, there is the classic question of "If your loved one is in a life/death situation, will you bribe the doctor?". My personal stance on it is that each person can define his/her own limits and I don't feel anyone more stringent (than me) in their definitions are at a moral high ground, nor do I look down at others with a more relaxed attitude to life...However, one thing that I abhor is double standards...that is, if you have one set of values for self and another set for other people...Like for example, …

For You Dear Son...

As you grow older, I have this feeling that I may forget all the wonderful moments that make your childhood the best thing that ever happened to me...It's sometimes very easy to forget what a blessing you are, especially when the day to day grind overshadows the miracle that you are (or for that matter any baby is).. So here goes the list of things that I'd like to read about when you finally grow up and move on...In MBA jargon, this post is supposed to lift my spirits during my "empty nest" phase of life :P
Feb 27th - You had your "choroonu" on this day. I chose the family temple over the more popular destination of Guruvayoor, because I didn't want it to be a hurried affair. I decided on the venue and then informed others, including your dad as I didn't want other opinions to cloud my intuition of what's best for you...The ceremony went off beautifully..You had your first train journey en-route to the temple...
Apr 20th - You had your first ha…

Before I Die...

Recently I have been reading in several places about the things you'd like to do before you die. I am a great fan of goal setting and planning and so I thought your 29th b'day is as good a time as any to put down my own list. Afterall, from next year onwards i'll no longer be "in my twenties"...and, in my mind that means your time literally has started running out...
There are things I've wanted and achieved, but I haven't included them in this list as this is just a roadmap for the future...
Things to do Before I Die
Learn
1. French
2. Japanese
3. Piano
4. Violin
5. Oil Painting
6. Swimming
7. Driving
8. Salsa
Visit
1. The Singapore Zoo with my son
2. Venice with hubby and ride the Gondola
3. Stay at Ritz, Paris
4. Leh
5. Switzerland
6. Australia
7. New Zealand
8. Canada
9 London
10. Indonesia
11 Andaman Islands
Do
1. Take a cruise in a luxury ocean liner
2. Bake a chocolate cake
3. Bake chocolate chip cookies
4. Build my dream home
5. Take a year off
6. Make a bouquet from my own ga…

Letting Off Steam...

The other day a senior member in my family insulted me very badly…she belittled my education, my dad’s financial status, my lack of respect for her and my total disinterest in “the socially right thing to do”…Other elements under attack included the way I rear my baby (now, that one is a favorite among my nay-sayers these days ) Now, I had to make peace with her… My usual way of making peace in such a situation is to counter the arguments leveled against me, offer explanations of my behavior and have a verbal fist fight …at the end of which either party can admit defeat or can politely agree to disagree … in either case, the adrenaline rush of the verbal exchange acts as salve to my injured ego and I let go of it immediately and forget any harsh feelings that the initial insult would have caused…and the result is that the relationship is back to status quo. However this time around, hubby insisted that I don’t worsen the situation by giving verbal expression to my very valid and logic…

Life's Little Ironies

It's strange how life treats you sometimes ! There was a point in my life when all I wanted was some human company...anybody to atleast just talk to...And today I have so many people around me that all I look for is some "me-time"...
I was looking forward to the extended weekend - planning to watch a movie after ages, and also catch up on a lot of things - books, spring cleaning, time with hubby et al...However baby is sick and the house is in chaos...And I did the unthinkable...left everything behind and came to office...the silence is just charming...Talk about work-life balance :P

Food for Thought

Unless you are ready to take responsibility of the adversity of wrong choices you cannot afford to be smug about your right choices !

Spirit Crushers

The other day I spoke with three different friends of mine - all of whom had lost the spirit of life. They all came from different environments and their problems too were unique. The common thread that emerged however was someone very close who acts as a well wisher but ultimately ends up crushing your spirit. These spirit crushers will continuously make one feel inadequate about dealing with one's life and would keep offering "valuable" advise and sometimes even lend out a helping hand.... They are great manipulators...There is no escape from them. You can't talk back to them either because you are dependent on them or because they are officially very close to you. Any time they sense that you are even remotely happy they will go to great lengths to hurt you and then make you feel that you got hurt 'cos of your own problems..You can't even run away from them ...They will not allow you to express your emotions...you cry and they'll say you are being vulne…

The Year That Was...

Image
I had dreamt about 2008 here . Now, it's time to take stock...
I did bake a cake for hubby's b'day...The cake however was a disaster :P
Didn't manage to visit either Leh or Switzerland :( ...Instead visited the Switzerland of the East (Sikkim) and had a lovely time...
Started learning both Japanese and French and dropped both midway..However, I have become proficient in another language... it's called baby talk...
I don't know whether I managed to spread cheer in other people's lives, however, someone special came into my life and is spreading a lot of cheer :)
In the final analysis, 2008 will always be one of the most special years of my life and I shall spend its anniversary in all coming years.The year was afterall very productively spent creating thisand then transforming him to this...

P.S realised I had started this post in Dec 2008 and now its Feb 2009...How time flies !...Only moms will understand the happiness of being able to find the time to publish a …