Clearing the Clutter
It's strange how people around you can affect your thoughts...even if they are not very dear to you, just by their constant presence and banter they influence you, and before you know it, you are making excuses for the person that you are...which is something that should never happen, in my opinion...
For the past several months, life had been moving ahead at such a fast pace that I never had the time to sit back and sort through the thoughts in my head...and to classify them as "originated by me" or "planted by others"...Finally things reached a tipping point and I decided that it's time to take stock of life in general...
And I realized and affirmed to myself that...
1. No one has the right to make me feel guilty of my choices...The baby was a conscious choice that hubby and self made...I wanted my child to have a certain kind of life, most important of which was that I wanted him to grow up with family and not with maids...Fortunately for me, my mom offered to help out, and so I could keep my job (which is also very important for me)...It has also meant that anywhere I travel in the evenings or over the weekend, my baby is with me...I feel its not right to leave him behind..and that's my choice..It is extra work no doubt, and I have significantly reduced my overnight outings...I used to travel a lot before the baby came...But, now its easier and more relaxing for me to just be home....this is a new phase of my life,where I am happier to stay at home...and I do not want any condescending advice on how "everybody else travels with kids" ...
2. There is no reason to feel bad that I am unable to do X,Y,Z because I have a baby...Having a baby is a different kind of fun, and I'd rather do things I enjoy doing rather than experiment with things to please others/conform...and as I am an evolving individual, 'things I enjoy' keep changing from time to time...
3. Babies,just like adults have different personalities...Just 'cos someone thinks my baby needs to improve his social skills, does not mean I need to hand over a wailing baby into their open arms..My baby expects me to protect him and I am quite content to let him explore his social circle at a pace that is comfortable to him...
4. My job is important to me, just as my hubby's job is important to him...as a result, an emergency at home means that we take turns taking the day off...and no one can tell us to do otherwise...no job is more noble/more difficult than another...a job is meant to bring in the money that can be used for economic survival and should be treated like that...
5. "Give respect and take respect"...your position/age/experience does not entail you to automatic respect from me....I don't expect even my one year old son to obey me unconditionally...If I treat him well, he would treat me well in return...and that applies to the way I deal with everyone...If I am rude to you, it is a clear way of signalling to you that I expect to have nothing to do with you...and I resort to that only when even cool indifference fails to get the message across...
For the past several months, life had been moving ahead at such a fast pace that I never had the time to sit back and sort through the thoughts in my head...and to classify them as "originated by me" or "planted by others"...Finally things reached a tipping point and I decided that it's time to take stock of life in general...
And I realized and affirmed to myself that...
1. No one has the right to make me feel guilty of my choices...The baby was a conscious choice that hubby and self made...I wanted my child to have a certain kind of life, most important of which was that I wanted him to grow up with family and not with maids...Fortunately for me, my mom offered to help out, and so I could keep my job (which is also very important for me)...It has also meant that anywhere I travel in the evenings or over the weekend, my baby is with me...I feel its not right to leave him behind..and that's my choice..It is extra work no doubt, and I have significantly reduced my overnight outings...I used to travel a lot before the baby came...But, now its easier and more relaxing for me to just be home....this is a new phase of my life,where I am happier to stay at home...and I do not want any condescending advice on how "everybody else travels with kids" ...
2. There is no reason to feel bad that I am unable to do X,Y,Z because I have a baby...Having a baby is a different kind of fun, and I'd rather do things I enjoy doing rather than experiment with things to please others/conform...and as I am an evolving individual, 'things I enjoy' keep changing from time to time...
3. Babies,just like adults have different personalities...Just 'cos someone thinks my baby needs to improve his social skills, does not mean I need to hand over a wailing baby into their open arms..My baby expects me to protect him and I am quite content to let him explore his social circle at a pace that is comfortable to him...
4. My job is important to me, just as my hubby's job is important to him...as a result, an emergency at home means that we take turns taking the day off...and no one can tell us to do otherwise...no job is more noble/more difficult than another...a job is meant to bring in the money that can be used for economic survival and should be treated like that...
5. "Give respect and take respect"...your position/age/experience does not entail you to automatic respect from me....I don't expect even my one year old son to obey me unconditionally...If I treat him well, he would treat me well in return...and that applies to the way I deal with everyone...If I am rude to you, it is a clear way of signalling to you that I expect to have nothing to do with you...and I resort to that only when even cool indifference fails to get the message across...
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