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Showing posts from 2008

Independence

The other day my hubby jokingly defined independence as "in dependence" :P ...

How would you define it? How important is being independent in life? Where is the thin line between getting help and being dependent? How important is financial independence? Would you trust someone enough to be economically dependent on them?

So many questions...and no easy answers !

Tomorrow I am implementing a decision taken with my head...Usually my head and heart work in sync and on the rare occasions that they don't, I have always allowed my heart to rule and never regretted the decisions...This time around, I am giving my head a chance to prove its worth ! Signing off today, hoping my head doesn't disappoint me...

When Fear Rules...

I was invited for a child's birthday party today. However, on learning that I had a mild cold, the enthusiasm from the invitation vanished. It was social niceities that prevented the host from openly telling me "please don't come". Reason ofcourse, being that they were afraid I might pass my cold virus to the child...I sensed their discomfort and politely excused myself...and felt terrible that I was missing the birthday celebration of someone very very dear to me... When fear rules, reason vanishes...Today is World AIDS Day...There are numerous campaigns trying to educate people about this and about the need for including them in mainstream society...On the other hand, you also read about children being denied admission to schools, people being told not to draw water from wells etc because they carry the virus...In more "sophisticated" societies, this ostracising is more subtle...They will smile outside, cringe inside and then hurry off from the company of …

Babies...

Just some random thoughts and incidents to remind me of this period in my life 20 years hence...
1. Feeding: F-I-L: "Babies are lazy creatures, you have to wake them up and feed them. Else they'll sleep through their hunger."
M-I-L: "No baby will starve himself to death. He will wake up when he wants his feed."
Random self professed expert (RSPE): "Give him a bottle at night, so that you can sleep peacefully."
2. Maternity leave: F-I-L (who is an employer of several women): "As an employer giving maternity leave is a costly proposition."
M-I-L: "Why don't you consider extending your leave for some more time?"
RSPE: "Kids will grow by themselves. Send him to a creche."
By the way, like all new moms, I was cursing myself for not ever considering a govt. job as an option during my career search, when I heard about the new maternity and childcare benefits announced for Central Govt. employees... A healthy discussion can be foun…

Dilemma

"To what extent should I sacrifice my self-respect and my ideals to ensure my baby's comfort?" - that's the nagging question in my mind these days. If I stand my ground and in the process subject him to some uncomfortable situations, will that be "my selfishness and ego coming in the way of my child's upbringing" ? Or will it be a lesson in "strength at the time of adversity" for my son?
Opinions welcome !

LIfe's Like That - 11

Lady and baby went to hospital for the first set of immunization shots. While waiting for the nurse, hubby conveniently made his disappearance act. Serious discussions were held on whether the medicines have to be combined into one shot or given as two separate shots. After what seemed like eternity, it was decided that two separate shots would be less painful. (Don't ask me why !). Soon the nurse emerged with the syringe. The shots were administered, accompanied by loud wailing...Afterwards, lady received sweets from the nurse - afterall, the nurse was instructed to give sweets to the one who cries and not necessarily the one who receives the shots:P

Going Cuckoo

Being among a dad who is totally indifferent, a mom and mom-in-law who believe they know it all, a hubby who responds to every cry of frustration and every request for help with "You have to learn to do it yourself and be independent" , I am going totally cuckoo taking care of my son. And the biggest proof of me going cuckoo is that I am still loving every moment of it !

Life's Like That - 10

Image
The results of the gene cocktail are out ! Hubby won hands down in the looks department...Apparently lady's contribution is 0% !

Two New Passions

Ever since I entered the corporate jungle my constant grouse was that my brain hardly gets challenged. I mean, there are new things to learn everyday, but there is nothing that keeps my brain stretched ! Recently I have found two new passions – crossword and quizzing..
Quizzing is an old favorite – I was an avid quizzer in school, but put a full stop to it once I entered college, as decisions regarding teams representing the college were most often based on party politics ! Recently, I participated in the Tata Crucible quiz woefully under prepared, but atleast it rekindled an old passion..I have now subscribed to several quizzing blogs and it’s a challenge to ensure that all the business trivia that I read in the business papers are remembered for the weekly quizzes that appear in these blogs…You may, like my hubby ask me what is the point of collecting all these trivia in my brain…My answer is simple - I enjoy it !
Crosswords – now this was something I always wanted to attempt as a c…

Lessons Well Learned...

Sometimes lessons learned in one context help you in a totally different context...like how branding concepts can be used to improve your own personality...

One of the best lessons I've learned during b-school came, not from text books (yea, I used to read them cover to cover), professors (yes, I used to listen to them too !) or CP (I hated it, like most b-schoolers!) ...It came during our orientation (a.k.a ragging) ... It lasted for a week and I enjoyed it 'cos it just tested mental strength and was never physical or spiteful or meant to crush you...And throughout this phase most seniors sported t-shirts with this tag-line "If it doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger" ...At that time I was too naive and didn't quite comprehend what it meant...But, that lesson has stood me in good stead ever since...in various corporate situations and now even in personal life !

PS: This proliferation of posts is thanks to a gift from hubby - a brand new Thinkpad …

The Great Pregnancy Journal...

......is something that every pregnant blogger maintains...Preferably a series, but if not at least one post is a must...After much thought I have decided to follow tradition and jot down my experiences, for posterity ! Downside risk ofcourse being that I'd delineate my predominantly male readership (which itself is just a handful!)...Anyway here goes...
First Trimester: I absolutely didn't have morning sickness...everyone thinks its a blessing ! But I say, a few bouts of puking your lungs out has its advantages...'Cos whether you suffer from morning sickness or not, your energy levels are really down during this time..and with no other visible signs to announce your pregnant state, this is the most euphemistic way of announcing it and getting the much needed seat in a crowded office bus ... It also makes family and friends reel all around you in support ! I had no such luck...The only person who joined my secret roller coaster was hubby with back massages and packed dinne…

Out of Touch...

You know you have been really really out of touch with the cyberworld when you search for 15 minutes for the option to change your profile picture in orkut and still are unable to find it :( ...I've got broadband at home after a month ! Hopefully, I will get back to my cheerful and smart cyber-self soon ....
Note to Self: I hate complicated income tax rules ...someday when I become finance minister, I shall scrap all taxes...Let the winner take all the money !

Letting Go

It’s the most difficult thing to do in life…especially letting go of people who are very much alive, and are physically present near you…Logic and reason conflict with your heart…Your heart yearns to give it one more try…Logic, reason and past experience tells you not to…Not to bang against the wall and hurt yourselves…

Then your heart reminds you of the time before the walls existed…And the denial in which you lived , even when the wall was being built right in front of your eyes…even when people close to you were being pulled to the other side…even when new characters emerged on the other side…who ensured the walls were strongly built…and you helplessly watched…or sometimes screamed out in agony…tried everything possible to convince yourself that there is no wall..you poke your finger into the wet cement…creating holes through which you could see the other side…and believed that even you belonged there…only to realize that the crafty wall excluded you…and that all too soon the walls …

Choosing your battles...

I wonder whether choosing your battles comes from the wisdom of experience or the cynicism of adulthood? Is it a loss of faith that prompts one to choose what to stand up for or is it fear of failure which makes one feel that some battles are not worth it...Personally don't know which one it is, but sometimes its really nice to let things be and enjoy the status quo with all its limitations !

Oxymoronic...

I guess the only bunch of people who are gonna be happy about the petrol and LPG price hike are the pregnant women in God's Own Country..afterall the hartal offers one full day of rest right in the middle of the week !

Adulthood Losses

There are many things one loses as one becomes an adult...Innocence is the first answer I get when I pose this question to most people...To me it has been friendships...I do have my bunch of close buddies even now...some who have journeyed with me through childhood, others who joined mid-way...But there is some way in which these relationships have evolved, which is not quite right...A reluctance to share secrets, especially painful ones...
I am not the prying kind and I am not generally good at keeping in touch, but that had never prevented us in the past from sharing everything that happens in our lives...we used to talk about boy friends, potential boy friends, crushes, exam blues, dreams for the future, nightmares of the present and what not...
Then somewhere along the line we became adults...and then we all started suffering in silence...no, I am not saying that we all have miserable lives...On the contrary, most of us have very blessed lives, especially when viewed from the outsid…

Family Vs Strangers

"Rarely do members of the same family grow up under the same roof" - Richard Bach.
These days fear of strangers is very high among most people, especially in the virtual world...and they claim that it is legitimately so...Well, I am not too sure which is better - protecting oneself or protecting one's belief in mankind and human spirit...Agreed, there are people out there who are ever willing to exploit your naivety...But does naivety have to go hand in hand with trust? Does being not naive mean you don't trust strangers anymore? I, for one have always had pen friends, strangers from lands as far as Russia to as near as next door...I have made my mistakes believing in stories which sometimes were untrue...I have reached out to people who did not deserve it...But, that has never prevented me from opening the doors of my mind and my house to a perfect stranger...
To a large extent, the credit goes to the kind of upbringing I've had..I was never prevented from being…

Life's Like That - 9

Lady's Genes: Straight Hair, Black Eyes, Mercurial, Wild, Oxymoronic, Serious, Dreamy
Hubby's Genes: Big Nose, Brown Eyes, Calm and Composed, Conservative (or so others believe!) , Loving, Intelligent, Funny, Pragmatic
The gene cocktail has been prepared. And we are eagerly awaiting the outcome !

Daily Miracles...

For the past few days, due to a variety of personal reasons I have been having breakfast at the office canteen. Today, I was serving myself idlis which looked more like hard stones and suddenly I became all nostalgic about the soft fluffy idlis my grandma used to make...At that moment I would have given all my worldly possessions just to get one more of those soft idlis...I was myself surprised by this feeling since I am not particularly fond of idlis (whether soft or hard) and I wasn't sure whether I missed my grandma more or her idlis more...As I went to my table telling myself to come to terms with reality, something really amazing happened - My friend, who had bought breakfast from home opened her tiffin box and handed me one of the softest idlis I have ever eaten in my life with the words "Try these idlis - these are soft !".
P.S We usually never share food and I didn't verbally express even the slightest dislike for the idlis from the canteen...I don't know …

Assumptions...

...are the mother of all f!@# ups" My earlier boss used to say it every time we were close to messing up some work based on assumptions about the client's business...I couldn't agree more...It seems like such a universal phenomenon that each human being, each living and non-living creature, each situation is unique...Still, we all never stop assuming things...I am amazed by the number of times people assume causing unncessary waste of time and resources to correct situations...In personal life too I have innumerable such instances...
A typical example are my loving in-laws who keep forcing me to take back food from a party they host (which is very often), assuming that it will be easier for me to just heat it up and eat rather than cook...unfortunately neither hubby nor me enjoys it and ultimately it just ends up as extra work of throwing the food away, clearing the garbage, washing the dishes and ensuring all vessels are returned properly...No amount of communication has…

"It's My Life !"

I have heard this phrase a lot of times...have used it too...in my idealistic and fairly self-centered youth, I used to believe it as well...but not anymore...'cos some thought and a fair bit of being on the receiving side of this statement has made me realize that it is the last weapon that one uses to get away with behaviour that's otherwise unacceptable...I have seen several youngsters marrying cross community (and the cosmopolitan mindset in me still feels there is nothing wrong with it)...however problem starts when they themselves aren't cosmopolitan enough...most cross community marriages do not result in a secular family...instead one party (mostly the girl) switches religion, much to the discomfort of her own family...but, suddenly family and well wishers become "too narrow minded"...the fact that it is narrow mindedness on the other side that caused this - "I willingly converted..." situation, is conveniently forgotten and labelled as "Th…

Life's Like That - 8

Hubby and lady on an amazing trip to North East India...Stay and food were arranged in Army messes at various points...Now, the thing about Army mess food is, it is a complete diet - as per nutrition charts...however the same cannot be said about the variety...Lunch invariably consists of dal,roti,sabzi and rice (hardly cooked)....And as soon as you land in anyone's house you are greeted with a glass of water...and some sandwiches...even the filling doesn't change across geographies...its always tomato sauce and green chatni...(reminiscent of tri-colour, I guess...) Anyway, hubby being the typical south indian "Give me idli, sambhar and fish curry , any day" kind of guy was getting a bit overwhelmed by this hospitality.
Hubby and lady were on their way from Guwahati to Gangtok and morning breakfast was packed (the ubiquitous green and red sandwich)..On reaching Gangtok, they were served with water and another set of sandwiches, this time with three layers - tomato sau…

You scratch my back...

...and is it always necessary that I should scratch back in return? I am talking about blogs here...There seems to be an unwritten rule that you comment to receive comments...not to express your opinion on what is written...but just to increase your own blogs' popularity...I find that quite repulsive...I believe that a writer, a genuine one, does not need any kind of encouragement to come up with excellent pearls...It's jus incubated within him...And he has to write...Being regular is not the mandate...Being exquisite is...The price and the attention the world pays is not what matters...There are absolutely irregular blogs out there which I visit regularly in the hope that there would be some piece today...'cos its worth the wait...and I never tire of waiting...On the other hand there are blogs which are fairly regular which churn out stuff which can easily be given a miss !
Same goes for design...I'd any day rather strain my eyes and read an original blog than a plain …

Causes...

...these days everyone I meet seem to be championing a cause...it can range from the beggar to the King (read politics), from vegeterianism (that's the way to protect animals !) to "eat an egg a day" ("you need to save the poultry farmer first !") from scientific atheism to faithful worship ...

The sheer diversity of these causes is mind boggling....Sometimes, I feel, if everyone takes care of themselves then we need not have champions to propogate causes...ofcourse, my champion friends disagree...and do so vehemently..most of these champions think of others (who do not champion the cause) as lesser mortals, ignorant of the problems...and the cause that they are championing as something that requires active intervention from more privileged souls like them...

The worst is when they try to enlist you for the cause...Most of them try all known tricks of persuausion...from cajoling and pleading to challenging and daring you to act...sometimes, even threatening you…

Dreaming of 2008

Had written about what I wanted to do in 2007 here. A year has passed, with some dreams fulfilled, and others still in the pipeline...Here's a list of what I want to do in 2008..

1. Bake a cake - Have always wanted to do this...Hubby dear, are you listening? Get me an oven, plssss.....And while you are at it, do get me the recipe books, the cake mix et al...May be you can even do the baking yourselves :P

2. Go to Leh and Switzerland - This year, no matter what, I'll definitely do this.

3. Learn a new language - either French or Japanese. They say it prevents Alzheimers , so why not ....

4. Spread Cheer - I really don't know how to go about doing this, but I want to be able to bring a smile to people's lives....Not the 'I am at peace with myself' kind of smile, but the heady feeling of happiness you feel when you are on top of the mountain with the wind against your face ! And it need not be the under privileged group...Increasingly I find people who seem to not nee…

Of Castles and Ruins

Somewhere castles get built....and elsewhere they crumble into ruins...Old friends...who used to know a tear in your heart from miles across...then their life turns messy...and they build fortresses....and forget to give you a map...you knock on the doors...they toss you a key....but the frost inside is unbearable...you turn back...and walk away...only to discover a beautiful virtual world where your friend is King...you feel proud...and then realise...he never told you about the conquest...you wonder whether to gate crash and say "great job"...or to watch from a distance...like watching the night sky...and the stars there....
Then, there is guilt....of whether you were on the wrong side - in that ever so thin line between reaching across and interfering....
Friend, I wish I could turn back time...

Isn't it a wonder ....

... that the same set of people sometimes tell you that "Repeating a lie a thousand times does not make it a truth" and at other times preach to you the power of self-suggestion :P

New Year Wishes

May you have :

The confidence to dream ,
The freedom to make your dreams into reality ...
The ability to think profound,
The power to reject any philosophy in which 'care and concern' is not the epicentre ,
The wisdom to know that no story is complete unless all characters speak...
The knowledge to express your thoughts lucidly...
The courage to act like visionaries in everyday life

Happy New Year !

Wishing everyone happiness, health, love, success and all the good things in life !*

(*Whichever way all these are defined in your mind!)