Self Reflection...

...Have been doing that quite a bit in the past few days...One of the things I was shy about in my younger days (yep, I am growing older :( ...) was to ask for help....I used to be very shy to ask for even the smallest of favours...Came adulthood and MBA and some rough corporate years and I slowly learned the art of asking for help...and most often got it...But the occasional times I was refused, especially in my personal life, made me miserable...These instances used to rattle me so badly that I have often wondered whether it is worth all that heart ache...that gnawing pain which makes you feel shunned by loved ones.... And then I spent some considerable time pondering about it...and realised that the key is to analyse the situation before asking for help...and this is the analysis I do these days..."If they refuse to help, will I be able to do it myself?" and if the answer is no , then I don't ask for help...because if I can't / won't do it for whatever reason*, then it is unfair to expect others to do it for me....and if the answer is yes, then I ask for help, confident in the knowledge that though it may take more time/effort to get it done myself, atleast I have the confidence that it will surely get done - either by them or by me. And thus, whenever someone refuses to help me these days, they atleast don't get the glib satisfaction of having hurt me...'cos I get the task done anyway...and that too with a smile...which sometimes even manages to make the other person feel redundant, and this makes them help me out more often...convoluted logic, I agree...but works fine ! Afterall, the human mind is a complex mesh...And craving for attention and appreciation is an almost universal phenomenon...(The Roarks may please bow and stand aside :))
*If lack of skills is the reason, then I always make it a point to learn the skills needed to execute the task...self improvement and self reliance is the best way to live life !!!!

Comments

rocksea said…
"asking" is one talent very useful, which i discovered while growing up. when the world around is moving at such a fast pace, few people may stop by to observe, understand and see what you need and do w.r.to that. but nevertheless, there are a lot of people willing to share, help, talk and all, we just need to communicate the information in all possible ways..
Tinkerbells said…
@rocksea : very mature and positive observation :)

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