Friday, February 27, 2015

Going Crazy ...

I have been going utterly crazy the last couple of months. Work and related complications has kept me on my toes on one side. Family - well, all I can say is when help is offered grudgingly and you are still shamelessly accepting it, then you are actually helpless ! Now, that's a very sorry place to be in... In fact, when I had my first born, I went through this cycle of helplessness with him - that is till he could help himself, I was dependent on help I'd rather not have had - doled out like alms to a beggar.
I am going through the same cycle again and I hate it...I hate each and every cog in the wheel called family...some for their indifference, some for their arrogance !


Does being grateful equate to suppressing your opinions? Not sure.


Something far more complicated is happening to a friend and his son and every time I remember them in my prayers I realize that I am indeed in a very lucky place. But, on a moment to moment basis none of us think of the starving millions in the world, if we don't like the food served to us.


I am human...that's why I wear my knickers inside my trousers...The day you let me show them off, I can strive to be Superman..

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

New Year Wishes

I usually append my New year wishes to my readers at the end of my 'Year That Will Be' post. This time, it was scribbled in a hurry, and I left it out..


And here goes my new year wishes to all my dear readers !


"May you have the courage to revisit buried dreams,
The conviction to act on them,
And may all of those dreams turn into beautiful realities !"

Thursday, January 01, 2015

The Year That Will Be..

Last year, I didn't know what I wanted from the year...I thought I will have a lot of time to myself - and God, I was sooo very wrong! I was doing all household chores exactly a week after I gave birth, so I didn't even get to enjoy my maternity break.


This year, I know clearly what I want and I have a plan to make that happen - hope God is not giggling !


I am going to start driving a car - I had learned driving and have a valid license; but I never got around to actually driving on a day to day basis, thinking 'what if I have an accident?'. This year that will change!


I am also going to write a book, maybe two. It has been a long cherished dream and I never got around to it thinking 'what if I don't find a publisher?'.


I am also going to enroll in piano classes - I will write the Grade exam by end of the year.


This year, I am going to keep aside all 'what ifs' and give everything a try...I am confident that if I try and do my part, the universe and the Lord above will do theirs too !


There are couple of other dreams too, which I plan to work on this year ...expect updates on all of this by June or earlier !

The Year That Was..

This post should ideally have been completed latest by yesterday, but I just couldn't get that 5 minutes to myself - and that pretty much describes the year that was...It was a year of unsung and unappreciated sacrifices and back breaking (literally) hard work....


I gave more of myself to family than I ever thought capable of - and still was occasionally branded as selfish...


I have also realized the importance of being at the right place at the right time - I couldn't and it has proved costly !


The highlight of the year of course was my baby - though I am now even more conscious of what I do with my life - I don't want her to ever feel that women are better caregivers ! (that's the biggest disservice ever done to women - pseudo appreciation before killing their dreams :(. It is a vicious cycle - the wife is forced to take care of family, kids then feel my mom was the best as they don't even know how dad would have performed same role , thus when they grow up, they again insist that it is best for kids and elderly if the woman takes on that role! )


There were no major trips the past year and I am still struggling with the jigsaw pieces to create that perfect picture - the thing with life is that there are several pieces and you can use the ones you want to create the picture you want - but you have no way of knowing whether another picture with another set of pieces would be more beautiful !


I was in a roller coaster and I couldn't reach out to certain friends whom I wanted to hold hands with when they were struggling in theirs - I feel ashamed !


Biggest learning of the year - time and money if available in infinity, choice becomes redundant ! Since both are available only in limited quantities, it is important to choose wisely !


Peace was elusive in 2014 - so was sleep. The sleep is slowly returning. As far as peace goes, I don't know if I will find it in 2015 ..but that is fodder for the next post...

Monday, December 01, 2014

SAHM vs. SAHD

I thought I will write a detailed post on the subject, but ultimately all I want to say is this. To all the men out there who feel that if you bring a baby to this world, then you should prioritize baby over career,


"How many of you have downsized/given up your job to take care of your kids???"

Thursday, November 27, 2014

It's Been a Long Time...

..since I wrote here.. The delightful cocktail was so heady that me, hubby and the whole family has been on toes for the past 4 and half months. Unlike my first born, I announced her arrival on Facebook and not here. I am unable to upload a snap here due to browser compatibility issues - Well, another time !


In fact, talking about photographs, I hardly take any pictures of her - life is truly a whirlwind these days...


I have gotten back to work - whether that was the right decision - only time will tell.


I got myself a Kindle - and I am happy I did.


Rest later :)

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

This Time Around...

"So, what's different this time around?" is a question I get asked often...Well, plenty ! For starters, I know that parenting, especially in the first year is not gonna be a rosy affair ! As one of my team members very encouragingly quipped, "When you have your first child, you become a mother. When you have your second child, you become a referee !"

Last time around I was far more healthy - however, by sheer will-power, I decided that this time too I shall work as much as possible and I am happy I managed to do it !

This time around expectations from others are far more tempered down...Yes, I am still upset that I don't get any kind of help from certain quarters, but I have learned to live with it.

The biggest change is that the last time around, I was hardly anticipating the baby to come - I had a good one more month to go officially...In fact, I had come home all set to celebrate Onam and then get back to work ! It all happened all of a sudden - one moment, I was pregnant and the next moment I had become a mother ! This time, the dates have already been fixed for the surgery and that is causing some amount of anxiety. Unlike last time, I splurged on buying clothes for myself and the baby.

Overall, the only thing that remains constant is the firm belief that, no matter what the hurdles, I am getting one more person into my life to love and that is gonna be one joyous roller coaster ride !

Monday, June 16, 2014

Handling Advice

As I am getting ready to welcome a new member into my life, I realized that I was quite perturbed by a lot of things that didn't go particularly well the first year when I became a mom ...In fact, it was quite a challenging time for both me and hubby that it put us off from even thinking about another kid for a loong loong time...The wounds of that first year are still very raw, and I am determined not to let them reopen this time around....One of the major things I didn't know then was that there will be a bunch of solicited and unsolicited advice that comes your way...I was clueless on how to handle this and that led to a lot of heart burn...This time around I spend considerable time and energy trying to figure out a framework that will help me deal with the barrage of advice that I get across all streams of life - be it parenting, finance, relationships, education, the city I should live in, the job I should take...well, you get the drift ! This is what I finally came up with...
 
1. It doesn't matter whether it is solicited or unsolicited: We often think of unsolicited advice as 'how dare they comment on my...' but experience has taught me that you can get good practical advice regardless of whether it was solicited for or not !
 
2. Beware of the source, though - On analysing past advice I have recieved, I discovered something interesting. Advice from people who have been there and done that successfully, are usually far more useful than otherwise...Thus, if you admire how a child behaves, then parenting advice from its parent will be far more effective than parenting advice from a brat's mom. If your financial advisor is himself not rich, then he has no business advising you !
 
3. Respond with a smile: It is not necessary to let people who are wrong, know that all the time. This is especially true for qualitative advice that cannot be easily boxed into right and wrong - you will be wasting time trying to explain your side of the story...Just smile and change the topic of conversation, no matter how strongly you feel about something...If they insist that you follow up on their advice right then and there, then you can firmly say 'I'd prefer to do it my way'. Just this one point would have saved me many a hassle during my breastfeeding days...
 
Yep, I am already feeling better prepared for the year ahead !