Vikram Aur Vethal

The other day we went to a relative's house and she insisted on feeding my son something. I tried refusing as politely as possible, however she was persistent and started offering him cut apple pieces which he promptly threw around the house, while I did the 'catch-it-before-it-falls-down-and-pop- it-into-own-mouth' tactic.
Next she offered him banana chips. I again refused - reasons being 1. He was already full 2. He usually throws around stuff and I am not visiting someone's house to teach my son discipline (I'd rather prevent such situations as he is too young to be disciplined in my view) 3. I am trying to raise my son in a way that he appreciates healthy food and not oily snacks.
I gave her reason 1 as I was sure she will definitely not appreciate reasons 2 and 3.
She again persisted and this time she said, "I am just playing with the kid.." and turning to him "..baby, offer this to your mom". I relented expecting her to give the chips in his hand.
And then disaster struck.
In one swift motion, she thrust the chips into his mouth and broke off the small bit that was left outside. My startled son tried to swallow it,but choked on it. Somehow, I gathered my wits and slapped his back, so he promptly threw up. And the lady in question was crooked enough (I can't describe her any other way) to tell the other people in the room "Oh, I didn't give it to him. He picked it up himself and put it in his mouth".
It then took me a herculean effort to stay calm, not correct her lie, and clean up my son. Hubby dear meanwhile wanted me to clean up their rug where my son had thrown up. His logic (explained later to me) was "Once he threw up, everything was fine with him, then why not be civil? " . We spend another 15 minutes there, acting as if everything was normal.
This happened a couple of days back,but I am yet to recover from the shock. I can't stop thinking about it, and every time the thought crosses my mind my heartbeat reaches 120 and I break out in a cold sweat.
Readers, three questions:
1. How would you have reacted to such a situation ? Would you have given the other person a piece of your mind or would you have acted civilly and told yourselves "all is well that ends well"? Where do you draw the line between showing your other cheek and beating them up black and blue?
2. How would you prevent such a situation from happening? Basically how do you say no in such a fashion that it gets through the thick skull of morons?
3. If you were in my place,would you visit her again? If so, how would you behave? Would you let her play with your son again?
?

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