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Showing posts from 2012

The Year That Was...

I have not been really active on this blog this last year, but I cannot let the year drift past without documenting a recap - more for my own reference than anything else...
I had started the year on a sour, but hopeful note. The year was great professionally for both myself and the hubby. Both of us got what we wanted and although hubby dear changed his goals mid-way, he is happy where he is and that is what matters at the end of the day....
The year also saw my hubby struggling to renovate the house we bought, but it was well worth the effort...We had a housewarming function with very close family and I enjoyed the sense of achievement of having my own piece of land...Now, I need to start living there...(Resolution for 2013, maybe...)
On the personal front, I didn't get to meet my sister post March and I am eagerly looking forward to meeting her during Christmas...Hubby and self are back to being a weekend couple....He seems to be happy with the arrangement and that leaves me f…

A Happy Place

I haven't been visiting this place as often as I should, but today, the urge to write here has overpowered the urge to just go on with life, and so here I am.... Life has changed quite a bit in the last couple of months...I am far more at peace with myself and I can see pieces of the jigsaw falling into place, albiet a bit slowly for my liking...I have learned to ignore the things that do not matter...and also managed to increase my 'it doesn't matter' list sufficiently large to prioritize myself over others - atleast some of the time. Direct and indirect accusations of my selfish ambitions no longer trouble me, especially when spouted by extremely ambitious individuals themselves. I am no longer willing to be apologetic about my dreams.... All this has helped me enjoy life much better....I am at a happy place - right here, right now.

When Birthdays Clash with Life

Sometimes, the best of intentions fail to translate into action...And leaves you feeling wretched about the choices and decisions you make...

When a person is visibly upset but lies to you, you wonder whether to call off the lie or be compassionate still...

Parenting is tough, single parenting is tougher...

As you grow older, your patience with one-sided relationships dwindle...I wonder whether it is confidence or the opposite...

If someone treats you like a child and expects obedience rather than agreement, you have every right to show petulence back at them...

The Indian Rupee Woes

For a travel bug like me, it hits hard when you realise that vacations have become more expensive :( .
Thinking of an Asian vacation - Thailand, Indonesia, and Malaysia are in the reckoning now...But, after checking the hotel rates and the bank balances, I am likely to tell myself that India is the best Asian country and Kerala is God's Own Country.
At the end of it, I might end up just lazing around in Kovalam beach !

Monday Mornings

1. You may look forward to them, in anticipation of a great week ahead, or wake up grudgingly thinking about all the things that can go wrong...Invariably, the week will have a mix of both - happiness and disappointments...

2. When you have this deep urge to write, but just cannot put down your thoughts into a cohesive post, then it may not always be a case of writer's block. It could be any of these as well: "What would the reader think?", "Is it in violation of my company's social media policy?" or "Is this thought worth capturing for posterity?"

3. The longer you stand at the edge of the cliff, wondering whether your parachute will in fact open up, the higher are your chances of dying from a heart attack.

4. Some use a branded product to belong to a group, others use it to show that they have arrived, yet others use it to show their allegience to a certain way of life...but the most amazing brands are the ones which are chosen because the prod…

Life's Like That

Every weekend, I have a tough time convincing my child about how he should cut his nails and how it would not hurt...It is finally achieved after one hour of cajoling, negotiation, tears and threats from both sides ! Today at school the teacher calls me aside and recounts this incident:

"I was telling the class about how they should cut nails regularly, and Siddhu suddenly stood up and announced: 'My mom does not have time for cutting nails. She is always busy reading books.' "

I gave a silly smile to the teacher and thought "Oops, thank God he didn't mention my other weekend activities !!!"

Living Life...

I have always been fascinated by the idea of taking a one year break and doing some bit of soul searching...Unfortunately, professional India is still not very open to the idea, and frown upon even a well deserving maternity break ! In the recent past though, I have been increasingly toying with this idea of a break...

I keep going back and forth in my mind and my biggest fears about doing it, are not so much about whether I will be able to return to a great career (I believe, I have reached a stage in my career, where a one year break can be easily justified, in case I want to return to the exciting rat race!). I am worried about how society will perceive it - not in terms of measuring my self worth, which they anyway do, but rather in terms of respecting my time and freedom... I can almost hear people tell me "Oh, now that you are not having a job, you can come for this wedding!" - and I would hate it! ! !

The other more pressing worry is whether my wish for a break is a…

Random Thoughts

1. No amount of management knowledge or self help books can prepare you for the deep depths of self pity that accompanies a backstab....I almost recovered from one around December and was promptly subjected to another one around February. Repeating "You cannot control other people's actions, you can only control your reactions" is not helping either. When it comes from someone for whom you have gone out of the way for, you even look down at your own poor judgement of character....resulting in an already present migraine becoming worse...Positive thinking cannot take away the bitter after-taste that lingers after you have bitten into a chocolate coated pill....
2. I can condone absence of results, I can even condone an absence of effort (barely) , but I just cannot bring myself to condone the pretext of effort...
3. These days I wonder what God actually thinks....
4. I also wonder whether I will finally garner enough will power to start exercising regularly. This has bee…

Letter to My Son

As my son starts formal schooling on Wednesday, I am feeling the same excitement as I did several years back when I went to school first. So, here is something I wrote for his school magazine and which I hope I can inculcate in him as the days turn into years...
My Dearest Son,
You have just started to peek into the amazing world of knowledge – learning to recognize letters and trying hard to recreate them yourselves. Like every parent, I too have dreams about you – after all, if there is just one thing I can do perfectly, I would choose that I become a perfect parent. However, human beings are not designed to be perfect, and that is the first lesson that I would want you to learn. While we are on the topic of life lessons, my dear, here are some more for you:
• No one is perfect, but the best journey in life is the journey towards perfection.
• Life is a great teacher – learn from every experience.
• No age is too young to learn, no age is too old to learn either.
• There is always …

The Potteress' Wheel

Once upon a time, long long ago, there lived a potteress who was really good at what she did...Everyone admired her work and she epitomised 'work is worship'....Till one day, she decided to use two wheels simultaneously instead of one...She was creating something unique in one wheel - her personal masterpiece and she used the other wheel to churn out pieces according to customers' demands - after all her skill was unparallelled and she got a good price for her efforts....Her personal masterpiece was a huge project which would not be completed in several years and hence she could never monetise it...Unfortunately, she soon realised that if she had to do a great job and make her dream masterpiece come true, then she needed to spend her entire focus on it...which means she will have hardly any time to attend to the other wheel...But, if she didn't attend to the other wheel, she would not get the money to buy raw materials for her masterpiece...She wondered, what do I do …

Inventory Levels

Age: 32
Assumption: Productive and Healthy Life for another 30 years
Time Left: Just about 10, 000 days.

I have truly hit the economic reorder quantity levels....might as well make every day worth it !

Thoughts...

Many organizations have a bulletin board where they paste a 'thought for the day' and sometimes you find rare gems there...The other day I read "The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it"...and that set me thinking...Do we actually price ourselves properly? For example, when you take up a job, you often compare the salaries drawn by peers and then benchmark yourselves as a success/failure - at least in your professional front...Most of us hardly would go to a salary negotiation table by calculating the amount of life we have to exchange for the demands of the job...It is an entirely different matter of discussion whether the employer needs to know about this.
The statement changed my perspective on a lot of things...we all know at some sublime level that some day we will all be dead, and thus we strive to balance out our various conflicting dreams, ambitions and duties...but this statement gave a more quantitative approach to evaluate my choices…

It's That Time of the Year Again...

It's the season of love...and it's time to look back...Yep, age does that to you...You do a lot of looking back...Especially when you have spend the last fourteen valentine's days thinking about the same person....How the definition of love has changed...even when it is with the same person...Chocolates and greeting cards were valuable then...and still are...I still hold on to the first valentine's day card I received...Today, though love demands much more....like feeding my son, washing his bum....There is a sense of easy familiarity which says "Go choose the laptop you like, I'll pay for it as its my gift"...There is peace of mind, knowing that you are loved...knowing that you are in love...no matter what the form is...no matter how the definition changes....And then there is gratefulness...and happiness...that you have him in your life...that you didn't have to settle for anything less...Yep, I still think he is the best...It hasn't changed in …

'Organic'ally Yours

When I wrote about my last year, I forgot to mention one major event - I bought myself an organ. I have always wanted to play the piano...My school had a piano class and they used to teach kids to take the royal college exams...I have wistfully stood outside the doors of the piano room eagerly waiting to just see it...Someone convinced my mom that a piano costs 1 lakh and above, so buying one was totally out of question. I remember asking her whether I could join classes at least and she believed that there is no point studying it without being able to practice at home...Well, all that is history...I bought my beginner level organ for 10K. I am learning to play 'Jingle Bells' and have almost learned the part for my right hand...With my kid around, it is not really easy, and I am not taking any formal lessons...But, it is the first step towards a long cherished dream...I hope to clear the Royal College exams soon...
P.S. I think the piano classes at school were so good that the…

2011-2012

Ages since I posted here...This time around, I hope to be more consistent...Let's see...I didn't write the usual birthday post for my son, nor did I write the yearly recap or the new year post...Last year was a year of consolidation. Both myself and hubby dear had one goal each, which was paramount to both of us. Both of us made a lot of sacrifices to help reach our own goal as well as to help the other person reach the goal. Unfortunately, neither of us got what we wanted, so there was not even a scope of vicarious happiness...We are almost over it now...After all close to two months of mourning is itself quite huge for something very material in life...As with all setbacks in life, I believe both of us have emerged stronger, and probably there was a life lesson or two in the whole process...For starters, we decided not to visit the temple where we prayed religiously last year :P The year of course had its share of happiness - we finally learned to manage kid and job by oursel…