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Showing posts from September, 2015

Age and Hero(ine) Worship

I have never been a huge fan of respecting age. Unless the additional experience has increased your knowledge and your application of it, there is no reason for me to respect you just because you have eaten a few additional meals than me !
Our culture expects old age to be respected - unconditionally ! The other day, there was an interesting discussion on my WhatsApp group where someone posted a link where a mother of two sons explains why she refuses to look after her grand kids. If she had just said - "my life, my choice" I would have been far more comfortable with that than the way she framed some of the arguments. My first response was "If it were daughters, it would probably have been different". 'Cos unfortunately, in the process of child rearing, the dreams which get squashed are those of the mother...and rarely, that of the father. I also mentioned that ideally as a society there should be enough infrastructure for reliable care giving so that such is…

On Assholes and Being Nice

A couple of days back, I posted a quote by Aaron James on the definition of an asshole. The quote made sense to me, and I felt like sharing it with my FB friends. This led to an interesting discussion with Anu which started off with the need for gender neutral definitions and moved on to niceness. She mentioned that niceness and competence may not go hand in hand and niceness alone does not entitle one to finish first and that one should be nice as being nice is reward in itself. I mentioned that I would chose niceness over competence any day and then the discussion veered into why choose between the two.
I then realized that for me it had to go hand in hand, but in others I was more tolerant towards an absence of competence than an absence of niceness. I also mentioned that as long as there is no specific disadvantage of being nice then its ok not to have any advantage also. We discussed hiring candidates and how interviews can be manipulated by candidates. Anu, being Anu, and bein…

The Path Not Taken...

Every life is a series of choices and outcomes. Sometimes, the outcomes are good, sometimes they are bad. Very often, you do not have sufficient data or time to arrive at the best choice. Your egos, relationships, prejudices all come in the way as well.

However, recently I have seen/heard several people brag about how the choices that they made were superior just 'cos the outcomes are superior. I find this irksome. Hindsight is always 20/20. And its extremely easy to take credit when things go right. As they say "success has many fathers, while failure is an orphan".

You never know where the path not taken would have led - you can only speculate !

Being Selfish; Being Resilient...

There is a thin line - a very very thin line between being labelled selfish or being labelled resilient...
Surprised? Well, here is a story.

A and B are both having trouble in their families and left their spouses and moved to far away places with their kids. They started a new life albeit difficulties and at least in the short term kids seem to be doing fine as well.

A is termed resilient; while B is termed selfish.


Because, A is family and B's spouse is family !!!



Now, onto stereotypes ....Most people to whom I relate this story to, implicitly assume that both A and B are women - 'cos the kids are with them....