J for Joy
I used to have a friend in primary school named Joy - I used to think he was always happy and hence had the name Joy :). I got back in touch with him after nearly 27 years and needless to say, he didn't even remember me or anyone else who remembered him ! Still, I was happy to have found him - not because I suddenly got a new friend or anything, but more from a quite confidence that hope still exists in this world and that people may just come back into your life when you least expect it !
Conversing with him also made me realise that as time passes, friendships, in fact all relationships, should evolve. Very often, unless you have certain things in common, conversations can become strained - there are exceptions, of course.
Often when friends go through extremely tough times, I wonder if I am stepping on their toes. I then end up remembering them far more frequently in my prayers - I know instinctively that my friends are feeling better when they stop appearing in my prayers - no, its not any sixth sense. I would have spoken to them on and off, then sometimes, when I feel they want to be left alone, I do that also (though I do get wrong in those analysis - some friends feel I should have spoken more often, others want to be left alone more). I guess these conversations then get sieved in my brain and when I pray, along with my set of requests, my brain brings their thoughts as well to my lips...and over a period of time, when my brain realizes they are in a happy place, it just stops these signals...
I am not sure whether I have brought joy to anyone's life in recent times - I wish I could though...How lucky it is to know that your smile, your hug, your words or your actions have made someone's day !
While people with a different bunch of experiences can give you very different perspectives about your situations, it is imperative that you are ready to open your mind to those possibilities. I for one need a good time to moan, indulge in self-pity etc before I can start thinking of solutions. It might be a waste of time from a purely rational view point, but unless I have really buried myself in the sorrow, I find it impossible to move on. Few times, I have tried pretending that all is well, and focused straight on how to solve the situation at hand. It just didn't work for me - I ended up performing sub-optimally and found myself returning to my grief again and again. Much easier for me to grieve properly and then move on.
I have friends who give me a shoulder to cry on, others who offer solutions and some who can play both roles effectively. It is upto me to choose whom to confide in at various points in my journey - else, I will risk irritating the other person and sometimes losing the friendship too. Still all said and done, even a small hello from a loving friend brightens my day and brings joy !
Yes, planning to talk to all my friends this week - to tell them that I hold them close to my heart !
Finding joy is easier when you are mentally open to that possibility.
Conversing with him also made me realise that as time passes, friendships, in fact all relationships, should evolve. Very often, unless you have certain things in common, conversations can become strained - there are exceptions, of course.
Often when friends go through extremely tough times, I wonder if I am stepping on their toes. I then end up remembering them far more frequently in my prayers - I know instinctively that my friends are feeling better when they stop appearing in my prayers - no, its not any sixth sense. I would have spoken to them on and off, then sometimes, when I feel they want to be left alone, I do that also (though I do get wrong in those analysis - some friends feel I should have spoken more often, others want to be left alone more). I guess these conversations then get sieved in my brain and when I pray, along with my set of requests, my brain brings their thoughts as well to my lips...and over a period of time, when my brain realizes they are in a happy place, it just stops these signals...
I am not sure whether I have brought joy to anyone's life in recent times - I wish I could though...How lucky it is to know that your smile, your hug, your words or your actions have made someone's day !
While people with a different bunch of experiences can give you very different perspectives about your situations, it is imperative that you are ready to open your mind to those possibilities. I for one need a good time to moan, indulge in self-pity etc before I can start thinking of solutions. It might be a waste of time from a purely rational view point, but unless I have really buried myself in the sorrow, I find it impossible to move on. Few times, I have tried pretending that all is well, and focused straight on how to solve the situation at hand. It just didn't work for me - I ended up performing sub-optimally and found myself returning to my grief again and again. Much easier for me to grieve properly and then move on.
I have friends who give me a shoulder to cry on, others who offer solutions and some who can play both roles effectively. It is upto me to choose whom to confide in at various points in my journey - else, I will risk irritating the other person and sometimes losing the friendship too. Still all said and done, even a small hello from a loving friend brightens my day and brings joy !
Yes, planning to talk to all my friends this week - to tell them that I hold them close to my heart !
Finding joy is easier when you are mentally open to that possibility.
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