Raising Kids...

...to be confident, caring individuals is a challenging task. Recently, I have been thinking hard about women's rights, a fair world etc, and how to integrate these concepts into parenting...It is not easy. I know enough parents, who raised confident, independent girls, only to wonder whether their strategy was wrong, when said child could not adjust to relationships which were retro at best and abusive at worst...Yes, it is easy to say that you should walk out of a relationship if you are not comfortable, but practically, there is still a society to deal with...

I am not advocating a silent, suffering role for a woman. Far from it...But, it also puzzles me as to how can a woman ascertain her rights and still have a happy life - no not as a single woman, or as a single mom, or as a 'stay at home' mom, but as a mainstream member of this society, with a loving and caring husband, a good career commensurate with her skills etc. Afterall, if a guy is retro in his thinking, no one tells him to remain single and find happiness in that...then why should a progressive woman have only that choice? When a child comes along, no one questions whether the guy should take a career break or a 'less demanding' career...When a woman talks or thinks like this, she is often labelled as an 'arrogant self centered' person.

I wonder how I can play a part (albeit a small one) in ensuring that atleast when it comes to my son, I can convince him that he is just one half of the equation...I also wonder whether in real life, if he has to sacrifice some of his dreams, so that his wife can achieve hers, will I be able to stomach it as a mom? If someday, I have a girl, will I tell her to live life on her own terms? I might, but will I be able to ensure her happiness in the process? If I tell her that she has no curfew to return home to, and she is attacked, I will definitely support her and fight on her behalf, but will I condone myself? Not sure.

Next week, I am going to have to answer a tough question by people who are unaffected by the answer. I am not sure whether I will smile and ignore or assert myself...Some battles are worth fighting, others are not...The trick is to figure out which ones....

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