Random Thoughts

1. No amount of management knowledge or self help books can prepare you for the deep depths of self pity that accompanies a backstab....I almost recovered from one around December and was promptly subjected to another one around February. Repeating "You cannot control other people's actions, you can only control your reactions" is not helping either. When it comes from someone for whom you have gone out of the way for, you even look down at your own poor judgement of character....resulting in an already present migraine becoming worse...Positive thinking cannot take away the bitter after-taste that lingers after you have bitten into a chocolate coated pill....

2. I can condone absence of results, I can even condone an absence of effort (barely) , but I just cannot bring myself to condone the pretext of effort...

3. These days I wonder what God actually thinks....

4. I also wonder whether I will finally garner enough will power to start exercising regularly. This has been consistently present in my mental New Year Resolution every year for the past 10 odd years, but has not even lasted till Jan 2nd...

5. I miss the cosy comfort of a loving hug....

6. I wish people treated each other better...

7. I also wish I can let go of my ego to start practising the earlier point....

8. I had never understood the logic behind the Biblical story of the shepherd going in search of the one sheep which has wandered away from the flock...but now I do....I also understand the pain of the remaining flock, the arrogance of the black sheep and the master's search for perfection and her (yea, for once I prefer God to be female) inherent kindness....

9. I hate it when anyone fusses over a pregnancy....I always thought it was just part of life. I find it ridiculuos to extend a dupatta to cover up the tummy, or to expect the world to pamper you...Today I thought, maybe I am just jealous that I never got treated that way?

10. Sometimes, I feel like screaming to the world that I am a human being and not an optimizing algorithm....