Unconditional Love...

... is a concept that has fascinated me since I first heard about it...that was several years back when one day my mom reassured me that no matter how naughty I am or how weird I looked she still loved me...
Over the years I have moved from longing for that elusive knight in shining armour who would epitomize unconditional love to vociferously defending the fact that there is no such thing as unconditional love...
Steps in between this transition involved:
- Being spiritual and reading yogic text books that preach how God's love for mankind is the only form of unconditional love. My fascination with the concept ended when it started advising on how you should love everyone alike. (i.e. without placing any conditions for choosing your object of affection) After all, I am no angel and even if I don't manage to extract an eye for an eye always, I never go back on my desire to do so...Forgiving and letting be is not exactly my strong area!!
- Thinking that romantic love is true and pure only if one loves unconditionally...that was promptly shunned when my boyfriend then (husband now!!) forgot my birthday :)... Well, as is normal of any damsel in distress ( believe me, for a damsel, who is otherwise doing great, growing older by a year is painful enough and no one easing the pain with cakes, candlelight, chocolates and teddies is quite a distress!), I stepped down from the altar of 'angel who loves unconditionally' to 'Condition 1: thou shall not forget thy loved ones' b'days' .
- Assuming that a baby's innocent smile reflects unconditional love... by now, you can guess, when that was shattered...yes, when the baby started wailing away to glory the moment I held him in a way that was uncomfortable for him.
I am not even mentioning here about the love that a mother has for her child, which is so often touted as the perfect example of unconditional love. With all due respect for the moms in this world, across species, I never ever thought that a mother's love for her child is unconditional - not even in my idealistic teens when I believed all love in this world is unconditional. I always felt that the only reason a mom's love got the glorious position of 'the best example of unconditional love' was because most often than not it is several notches higher than all the different kinds of love that one experiences in life. (This ofcourse is made easier by the fact that, your mom's love for you is formed while you are a kid - when people are generally more indulgent and forgiving about your mistakes)
In short, I have now traveled the entire rainbow, and realised that there is no such thing as unconditional love...not even one's love for oneself is unconditional.
Probably unconditional love is a detrimental force - one which kills hope and aspirations as it keeps you satisfied with the present and now. And that's why probably love can never be unconditional - it always expects (and tries hard too) to bring out the best in the object of one's affection.
After all, there is a very thin line between the concepts of unconditional love and indifference...

Comments

alex said…
Tinkerbells,

I was going through your past posts to see if i find anything interesting. And here it is. :)

I do not differentiate between 'love' and 'unconditional love'. Love as i see it transcends all other emotions and feeling. It is all encompassing and eternal.

My take on love can be found here and herehere.

I too had thought of how people talk about selfless behaviour of parents. I wonder here.

Love is limitless and free.
Tinkerbells said…
Hey, am quite happy to know that you actually browsed through my previous posts !!! We all try to somehow define love, right? I am yet to come across a person who hasn't spend some considerable amount of thought on the matter !!!
alex said…
:).

Some ponder when they are in trouble. Some leave it soon after. very few carry it or search for it further. I believe.
Tinkerbells said…
Yea, I agree fully...your comment reminded me of a whole lot of self sworn atheists in my family who became god fearing the moment they had some problems that they couldn't handle by themselves !!!
alex said…
Tinkerbells,

Religion, these days is a way to rid oneself of responsibilities and people take solace from 'that' fact.

I think that one needs to find his/her own path; though the influences may be myriad. Again, people blindly follow teachings of other people.
Tinkerbells said…
mmm, but maybe all are not capable of finding their own path...for them its easier to follow than to lead/pursue a different path...a complicated matter !!!

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