Positive Fixations

These days, there is a lot of emphasis on "being happy, thinking positive" and so on. It is the latest fad - being happy always. And like any other fad, the majority of society runs behind it, and spends hard earned money on it...without thinking about the actual benefits (or whether there are any benefits at all). And the smart ones out there are making money, by literally making you dance to their tunes....

While I agree that it is always better to be happy and positive, it need not be an obsession. No one can be happy all the time. The purpose of tears is not just to keep your eyes moist....And I believe whoever created the human body (or however it got created, if you believe in evolution...) is infinitely more intelligent than all the new age gurus put together....So, if you have the ability to feel anger, sorrow, jealousy and so on...it must definitely be having a purpose...

Who is society to decide that some are positive feelings and others are negative feelings? What is positive to you, maybe negative to me....And I believe happiness obtained by chanting "I am happy" hundred times, doesn't generate happiness...at least not for me...it can at max, remind me of multiplication tables which were repeated and by hearted....

I'd much rather be happy when I see the waves, the flowers ... a genuine smile, ... and be sad when I lose my much adored pen-set (rather than say, "I don't own it, so its loss is not mine, either") ...

I'd much rather get angry when someone irritates me, get afraid when the dog barks at me and run for my life (rather than be at peace with myself and then get torn to pieces...)

After all, each of these emotions and thoughts were created as a survival mechanism .... 'Negative' emotions are meant to make you a little uncomfortable so that it triggers you to think through a better solution for the problem ... If these are artificially replaced by a sense of false comfort, then you might just get swept of by the current while still holding that silly grin on your smug face....

I think this positive fixation is a sad outcome of our fast paced life...we don't have the time to help someone in need....its so much easier to tell that "you are feeling down 'cos you can't think in the right way" ..... it assuages our guilt that we are unable to help .... by shifting the blame elsewhere.... and so we try to create a 'happy society' by wearing 'happy masks' .... we advice people to "find happiness from within" ...'cos you can't stop from your mad rush and do something that will make them happy .... let them sit there, and keep looking inside themselves for happiness....if they can't find it, then too bad... "you should think positive" ....

Ultimately, what matters is whether one is comfortable with oneself. If you are more comfortable crying your lungs out, do it....if bottling up is your style, by all means do that also.... but don't assume that what works for you works for others .... or that one method is better than another ... the human mind is a complicated machine... where a one size fits all approach wouldn't help.... maybe it helps the society, but not the individual....

So, everyone out there trying to control other people's life by your "positive thoughts", I hope you are listening ...

P.S. Views expressed in this post are based on my experiences with life, not on 'scientific research'

Comments

alex said…
Tinkerbells,

Ultimately, what matters is whether one is comfortable with oneself.

Exactly.

But your post made me think. As in the case of losing something one adores, yeah it will be saddening at the instant. But should it remain with us for the whole day ? And will it affect our relation with others through our conversations?

Nothing is certain in life.

We all try to develop our philosophies of life or we try to get them from the gurus; which ever way it is, we try to be at peace with ourselves. Like you said, we try to be happy.

People can definitely wear a mask of being happy or sad. What matters is how he or she really feels inside. In fact i was thinking about this yeasterday.
Tinkerbells said…
Alex,
"...But should it remain with us for the whole day ? And will it affect our relation with others through our conversations?"
I think we should have the freedom to let it remain with us as long as we want to hold on to it...Affectin relationships..if you genuinely care then you will also accept that the other person is havin a bad hair day...an apology at a later stage should be fine...

"what matter is how he or she really feels inside" ...but increasingly we are told "don't show your emotions to others"..."be nice to others even if you feel like mincing them" No one cares/has the time to care about the inside ... if you can present a pleasant picture everyone is more than happy to accept it and move on...
I wonder whether a relative/friend who gets offended by the "real" you is worth keeping by taking that extra effort of being nice to them...are fair weather friends that important?
Why are we made to feel inferior jus 'cos you didn't smile when you didn't want to smile? Should being civil come at the cost of your identity?
I know thre are too many questions but I am jus too suffocated at the moment...

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