Being Friends...

Does being your friend entail that I agree with whatever you say and support whatever you do? Is a true friend supposed to help resolve issues or pour fuel to fire? I wonder....

I wonder whether I should wish long term happiness for you (at the cost of pain today) or rather please you in the short term?

Even when I know the truth, the hurt and the sorrow you suffer can't I wish deep within that there is some hidden happiness which you can uncover ?

Just 'cos I spare a thought for people who hurt you, does it mean I don't think of you or understand your pain?

When you are confused whether to love or hate, should I encourage you to hate?

I really wonder ....'cos I care...and I care more deeply than most !!!

Comments

Anonymous said…
I love your writing Tinkerbells. I totally agree with you. I know what this post of yours is in response to as well. Like you, I am often for the underdog. Maybe not always, but certainly often. And like you, I hate being an Amen corner for anyone. Some folks never ever like being corrected, taught, advised nothing. They have EVERYTHING and EVERYONE figured out. Or so they think. I intensely disliked how your blog name was put in hers and she tried to embarass you. DID NOT Work. I do not know how to blog and thus can't write to you in any other way. Keep your head up high, Tinkerbells.
Sarah said…
Gibran said this about friendship
"Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.......
Sarah
Tinkerbells said…
@anon: thnks for the support. It means a lot to me...it worked like a healing hug...

However, I don't think me and Sarah are at war, so there is no question of keeping my head high and all...And I personally have no problems in Sarah linking my blog or the subsequent hate mail that I receive. maybe 'cos I am a techie, for me if you put anything on a webpage then the world has the right to link to it. I also do not think that Sarah was trying to embarass me by linking my blog...she was upset/confused by what I wrote and she expressed it...
Also, next time you put in a comment, you can add your name at the end. Or else, if you have a google account (need not be blogger) you can sign in using that and then write.

@sarah: I asked for your email id in your blog, but I assume you don't want to share it, so I have deleted that comment from there. But, in case you hadn't seen that comment, then I am asking for your email again.
Sarah, I still wonder...are we able to always be the answer our friend is looking for? If we cannot satiate the hunger and the quest for peace, do we fail as friends? When you try to build a fire to warm your friend, and he/she responds saying that you were trying to scorch him do you explain or wait till they figure out themselves??? As always, I wonder...
Sarah said…
Tinker bells.. Why do you always look for negative and postive, yes or no, love or hate, good or bad? Why do you not see that there is something in between?..
If you are a true friend, if your intentions are true then that is all that matters..
A friend knows when to light the fire that gives the warmth, a friend knows when to walk away, a friend knows when to offer the support..and a friend knows to do all that without expecting anything in return.
Tinkerbells said…
@sarah: It may not seem so to you, I search for that undefined in between "something" in almost everything ! And I am not sure if intentions matter more or results...
And as far as expecting in return...I believe we all expect something in return, we atleast expect that the other person does well...it is impossible to have feelings without expectations...for me lack of expectation is indifference not friendship !!!
Sarah said…
whatever has to happen will happen..
So intentions and expectations are irrelevant.. You can never change the course of destiny..but you can be there and offer support
Tinkerbells said…
@sarah: I do not believe in destiny...I believe that when situations present themselves it is we who choose how to respond to it and that significantly affects what happens next...I also believe that intentions and expectations are very important...being there and offering support - you can do that, the question is for whom? Anyways, to each his/her own.
alex said…
Tinkerbells,

One can only wonder. Because, people are different The way you think of friendship might not be the way some one else thinks about it. The way you express something might not be looked upon another as what you intended it to.

Someone who understands another will be someone (generally) having a similar frame of mind and thoughts.

As long as one believes that one is insignificant and one acnnot know the answer to everything, then life will be a journey and a search.
Tinkerbells said…
@alex: "Someone who understands another ..." forgot narcissus and goldmund so fast, eh??? ;) (I jus managed to finish it...when I start my library, I'll definitely get a copy)

we need to keep searching, but should we believe we are insignificant? I don't think so..Your thoughts?
alex said…
Tinkerbells,

When i read the comment again, i don't agree to both of the things which i mentioned in one sense.

The 'similar frame' of mind meant the person should know that differences exist.

And the insignificance should be concomitant to utmost significance too. [I agree to your views on it] This statement might make it more clear. Lots of things tangled. Difficult to express in a paragraph. :)
Tinkerbells said…
@alex: I understand...
alex said…
Tinkerbells,

:)

Popular posts from this blog

Weekend Blues

Pregnancy and Feminism - How Heavy or How Lite?

London Diaries - The Plan