My Pet Peeves

It's been a long time...reason: people have been irritating me left, right and centre. Ok, make that politically correct: I was unreasonable enough to let all and sundry to get on my nerves...including a painstakingly typed post which vanished when i tried to publish it...I know, I know, "it happens"...Anyway, here is a list of my pet peeves, well, make that stronger... these are things I hate....truth is, if the law of the land didn't prevent it, I would have shot the offenders(yes, I know, "hate the sin, not the sinner", but still each of us have our own secret fantasies, right?) So without much further ado, here goes the list....

1. People without civic sense:- This group primarily consists of a variety of nasty neighbours ranging from those who play loud music at the dead of the nite (yea, I enjoy music too, but 1:00 PM in the nite is a bit late for it !!) to those who encroach onto your front yard, the moment you are out of town, to hang their dirty linen (yea, literally!! it happened - and only a strategic smile to the neighbour combined with a knowing glare at the offending clothes line managed to make it disappear - talk about the powers of non-verbal communication :P)

2. People who 'care' :- Well, I appreciate the care, but the span of it is totally ridiculous - a land lady who is worried about where my 'thali' (traditional south-indian sign of a married woman) to a family friend who thinks I am responsible for ensuring that my hubby doesn't have any more accidents. Both conversations that happened are hilarous and hence here is a recap. Point to not here is that though I am usually very straight to the point, in both these instances I had to be meek (former, 'cos the land lady has almost my entire savings - the advance for the house and the latter 'cos I wanted family peace and wanted to protect my image of a peace loving and family oriented lady)

So here goes Scene 1:

Me climbing stairs to my house upstairs, land lady jumps out from ground floor house and stops me. Gives me a very quizzical look and asks in a language I don't know "!@#%^&) thali!@#%%??" All, I could make out was it was a question and it involved a thali...By the worried expression on her face I presumed that maybe I lost my gold chain and instinctively felt for it around my neck...well, it was there all right...with a sigh of happy relief I show it to her and tell her it's not lost...(again in a language only I understand)...

She is not satisfied...she repeats her question ...this time even more worried and replaces the word thali with mangalsutra (north indian equivalent of a thali...but different in size and shape)...I now get the general drift of things...(well, language is still incomprehensible, but maybe its woman's intuition or maybe it is my blink moment)...she wants to ensure that I am truly married... (oh what the hell, she's seen my hubby, spoken to him and has enuf evidence of my marital bliss, then why??...ok maybe 'xos he keeps shuttling between cities...but why the hell shud she be bothered?? GRRR...such goes my silent thoughts) but I trustingly again show her my thali...now with special emphasis on the locket on the gold chain...but the determined lady is not satisfied with the simple thali of God's own country...she wants a more elaborate one...well, I had a good mind to remind her that we live in a land which prides about unity in diversity...instead I smile sweetly (scream inwardly) and tell her that well, this is how things work in my land...I didn't wait for a response...and hurried upstairs...

Scene 2 is even more hilarious...

It comes in the form of a phone call around 3 months after our accident around which time I had finally overcome the traumatic nightmares...it was a festive day...and the lady in question specifically asks for me...I go and pick up the phone expecting a courteous festive greeting...instead I am greeted by the question "Do you think your husband is God?" Well, maybe I think he is...when we have a fight I definitely don't...but at that very moment I was puzzled...why should she care?...anyway I quickly tried to estimate the motive behind the question, failed miserably, swallowed my typical response ("none of your business") and gave a neutral "It depends" (thank God, for b-school trainings where , if nothing else, you atleast learn the two most important words to help you wiggle out of weird situations) ...

And then she started off " No no, you shouldn't think of him as God, you should stop him when required" ...My thoughts "Oh he doesn't drink nor does he sleep around...in general he is quite a nice guy, so what mischief was he upto?" I glance at my innocent hubby...well no clues there...I'll have to handle this myself ...I again give a safe answer ...a hesitant "why?"

She rattles on "It was all your responsibility" OMG now that's a serious acquisation...did I force my hubby into something??? I rack my brains...no no...I am not a scheming woman...although at the moment I wished I were...so I could scheme a quick end to this sickening conversation on such a pleasant day...For want of a better response I jus said "mmm"...

Then came a torrent of words from the other end "How could you let this happen?You should have asked him to slow down when he was driving fast. It's all your fault. Why did you let the accident happen?Next time ensure that this doesn't happen. It's your responsibility, mind you" and so on...her husband was screaming from the background to her to shut up...but no she had to say it..afterall, my hubby is like a son to her...I could hear her saying that as a justification to the poor guy...

Well, by the end of it the proverbial steam was rising out of my ears and I had a good mind to tell her " How dare you spoil a good day for me? I have come out of that experience with such great difficulty. You had nothing better to say than to remind me of it all and worse still, hold me responsible? I didn't have another set of controls at my end to ensure the car stopped at the right time or to have reduced its speed and anyway I trust my hubby's judgement and no matter what, even after all that happened, I am not gonna tell him how to drive a car and you better stay out of our lives" well, I didn't say any of it..instead i jus sighed and said "mmm" and kept the phone down.

Phew, there are lot more such hilarous people...lots more pet peeves of mine...but I shall reserve those for another post...