Fused Memories

..or should I say confused memories? These days, I often think of school/college days and there were clearly 3-4 people in my life whom my mind has fused together into a single virtual identity. They all were brother figures to me - none too close - but vaguely now I think of these 3-4 people as a single person.

There was a guy in 12th commerce class - I can't recollect his name - he was nice and caring, but we would have hardly spoken more than 4-5 times in 2 years and then promptly lost touch - he is not even in my FB list.

Then, in college there was a guy in my sister's class who was again a rustic boy, and who had sense beyond his age - he used to warn my sister about the friends she chose. Teenage pig headedness and an utopian world view prevented my sister from seeing sense in his words - but, I admired him for his ability to see through people's masks. Again, I would have spoken to him maybe once or twice. His name I remember and it is this name that I have given to these merged personalities in my mind.

During my school days my cousin did her PG in Econometrics while staying with us. Her friends used to come to our house and there was a guy who had, again what I would term as a 'loving brother' personality. In my  mind, he used to sing Malayalam songs. Yesterday, I asked my cousin about his name and figured out that one of her friends used to sing and another one used to be the one whom I remembered fondly - mixed up identities again ! This guy had actually once told me that he wished he had a sister like me (he was nearly 10 years elder to me) and had helped me with writing essays and stuff - what a typical brother would do...

The singer among her friends used to sing only songs of Venugopal - we were whatsapping about it while I was travelling to the airport yesterday and by some freakish coincidence I had Venugopal himself in my flight.

Come to think of it, I first noticed my hubby when he distributed cakes in school on behalf of his cousin sister (who was my friend) on her birthday ! And how I wished I had such a brother...His own birthday came a week later, and I was shocked to hear that she wasn't planning to even give him a birthday card...I went ahead and gave him a birthday card (though we weren't really even friends then !) ...and the rest as they say is history...

I still miss having a brother - the brother who was never allowed to live !


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