Stereotypes
This thought has been in my head for the past couple of weeks, but, somehow I couldn't really translate it to words...
Growing up, it was always drummed into our heads that "Thazhna nilathe neerooduuu" which literally translates to "water always flows downhill" and figuratively highlights the importance of being humble....
Well, my tongue in cheek retort often was that the shit also flows downhill...
Anyway, I was always considered arrogant primarily because I always spoke my mind and never followed tradition for the sake of following it...It was quite annoying when people commented thus "She never wears a bindi ! How arrogant !" and I never could understand why !
Recently, I stopped wearing any jewellery and a conversation with a random stranger (in his fifties) in the train went thus:
Stranger: " Are you married ?"
Me: "Yes, and I have a son also!"
Stranger: "Then, why are you walking without any visible marks of being married?"
Me: "Well, I don't feel the need for it!"
Stranger: "How can I then respect you ?"
Me:"Eh? Why would respect happen depending on whether I am married or not? For me, respect comes from the way a person deals with me and the amount of knowledge he/she has and not based on age. I will respect a small child as well as an old person."
Stranger: (completely flumoxed) : "But, we respect a woman entering a bus with a child, by giving her a seat"
Me: "That's because it is difficult to stand with a small child. I will surely give up my seat, regardless of whether the woman is married or not..."
Needless to say, the stranger stopped his conversation and I happily went back to my book.
I always try to expand my horizons, but recently realized that it is not easy. A cousin of mine, who was divorced and has a son, got married to her ex-boyfriend. The groom was getting married for the first time, was of a different religion®ion and is rumoured to be rich...One can imagine the gossips around the marriage. The wedding was one extravagant affair, and somewhere I was surprised how willing her parents were to splurge beyond their means and readily accept her choice ! I was commenting to my mom that this is one of those instances whose success can be measured only with time...and I was mentally wondering how the MIL will deal with the child...As everyone was dancing merrily post the wedding, I kept thinking about this and suddenly realised that it was my narrow mindedness which was making me think like this...I was sure that had my son got married like this, I would have been disappointed and may not have the largesse of heart to consider the child as my own grandson...Hmm, so much more to grow !!!
Growing up, it was always drummed into our heads that "Thazhna nilathe neerooduuu" which literally translates to "water always flows downhill" and figuratively highlights the importance of being humble....
Well, my tongue in cheek retort often was that the shit also flows downhill...
Anyway, I was always considered arrogant primarily because I always spoke my mind and never followed tradition for the sake of following it...It was quite annoying when people commented thus "She never wears a bindi ! How arrogant !" and I never could understand why !
Recently, I stopped wearing any jewellery and a conversation with a random stranger (in his fifties) in the train went thus:
Stranger: " Are you married ?"
Me: "Yes, and I have a son also!"
Stranger: "Then, why are you walking without any visible marks of being married?"
Me: "Well, I don't feel the need for it!"
Stranger: "How can I then respect you ?"
Me:"Eh? Why would respect happen depending on whether I am married or not? For me, respect comes from the way a person deals with me and the amount of knowledge he/she has and not based on age. I will respect a small child as well as an old person."
Stranger: (completely flumoxed) : "But, we respect a woman entering a bus with a child, by giving her a seat"
Me: "That's because it is difficult to stand with a small child. I will surely give up my seat, regardless of whether the woman is married or not..."
Needless to say, the stranger stopped his conversation and I happily went back to my book.
I always try to expand my horizons, but recently realized that it is not easy. A cousin of mine, who was divorced and has a son, got married to her ex-boyfriend. The groom was getting married for the first time, was of a different religion®ion and is rumoured to be rich...One can imagine the gossips around the marriage. The wedding was one extravagant affair, and somewhere I was surprised how willing her parents were to splurge beyond their means and readily accept her choice ! I was commenting to my mom that this is one of those instances whose success can be measured only with time...and I was mentally wondering how the MIL will deal with the child...As everyone was dancing merrily post the wedding, I kept thinking about this and suddenly realised that it was my narrow mindedness which was making me think like this...I was sure that had my son got married like this, I would have been disappointed and may not have the largesse of heart to consider the child as my own grandson...Hmm, so much more to grow !!!
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