Misogyny, Marriages and More...

My dear friend Anu, has been writing quite a bit about these topics and although I am usually lazy to link up, here is a link that I would recommend. Being a feminist is not an easy tag to wear and mostly it is used to denote (wrongly) a woman who does not believe in the traditional institutes of marriage, is too inflexible in her views and is someone who hates men. This is highly unfortunate...'cos feminism is just about doing the right thing. Yes, generations of doing the wrong thing means that sometimes you have to stand in the roof top and scream. Pulling out a weed is far easier than uprooting a giant tree with deep roots - obviously, it is a slow and ardous process. But it has to be done - for the human race to survive !  So, let me talk at some length on some common misconceptions about feminism.

Myth 1: Feminism and Marriage Can't Go Hand in Hand: Your views on how women should be treated (whether you are a man or a woman) is just one factor that determines the success of a marriage. People who say that women who are willing to bow and bend will ensure the success of a marriage, do not know what a successful marriage is. Two people staying under the same roof is not what constitues a successful marriage. A successful marriage is one where both partners are happy and play as a team. It is only common sense to realize that the true potential of a marriage can be achieved when both parties treat each other with respect and dignity, care and concern. A feminist may or may not have a happy marriage - but if both parties in the marriage are feminists then the chances of a successful marriage are far higher.

If you have been through a divorce, read this and watch the video. It shows you that there is life beyond. Beyond the anger, the hurt and the sorrow, you can and will survive !

Myth 2: Feminists are Rigid in Their Views: No, they are not. Most feminists I know stand up not just for themselves, but for their sisters whose voices maybe too feeble to be heard. Naturally, they have to put across their point of view repeatedly. They speak up, and that is essential for change - accepting status quo is not an option. While they speak up, they are also willing to engage in dialogue and hear, and analyse other points of view. But, they may not accept a chauvinstic point of view, no matter how loud or strong the view is...That's not 'cos of being rigid - its just that unless you convince me you are right, I will hold on to what I believe is right. That is true for any argument, right?

Often, it is said that you need to speak up for your daughters...for them to have their freedom, for them to be able to realise their dreams...Well, I have over the years, come to realise that when you speak about women and their rights, you are trying to make the world a better place - and the benefits will accrue to future generations - regardless of gender. So, every time I speak up or work towards changing attitudes and mindsets , I am doing it as much for my son as for my daugher. I want him to enjoy the laughter of the women around him ! 'Cos I want to free him from the burden of male superiority, I want him to feel the comfort that tears can offer him, I want him to smell a baby's poo and I want him to experience life in its fullest and not just through the narrow prism of male chauvinsm.

Myth 3: Feminists hate men: I can only laugh at people who think this way...Hate is too strong a word; and the opposition is to a misogynst point of view; and not to a gender.

These are just a sample. In every day life you come across several minor and major incidents where women are mistreated. I have had men ask me "If you believe in feminism, why do you want seats reserved in the bus for women?" Well, the answer is this: Feminism is about treating women with dignity. It is not about wiping away or ignoring the differences. Economic, social, geographic and other factors ensure that humanity is a diverse mix. Gender is just one variable. In an overcrowded bus, reserving a couple of seats for women ensures that atleast the ones with babies can travel safely and not worry about being thrown off guard when a sudden brake occurs. Till such time, we don't teach our children to stand up and offer the seat to a more needy person, we would have to continue reserving seats for women, old people and the physically challenged.

Ultimately, for those who say patriarchy has its benefits and that men and women can never be equal, for those men who believe that being macho is about suppressing fellow humans, for men and women world over who have the emotional, social, economic superiority over another human(s), all I have to say is this; "With great power, comes great responsibility. Act responsibly."

P.S. This is my blog and my writing, so naturally, all posts including this one is based on my world view !

P.P.S: There is far more to write on this topic, and I hope to write more follow up posts. Expect a post soon on "Women are a Woman's Greatest Enemy"


Thank you for the double mention! :)

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