Friday Blues

My Performance Manager once told me that intelligence is a turn-on for me. He went on to add that lack of intelligence is a big turn-off for me and that it is a key area of improvement as not many people may be as intelligent as me. (or as perceived by me :) )...Though I didn't explicitly agree or disagree with him, it was a truth about myself that I knew from very early days...I remember how I used to have very less patience with friends who found it 'cool' to not do their best to learn about concepts and chose the 'smart' way of copying assignments and repeating the same for exams. On the other hand, I was willing to spend hours on end, with someone who was willing to try and learn something from me....(though the numbers were few and far in between and consisted mostly of guys who found it otherwise interesting to spend time with a girl - well, I was naive and already in a relationship, so I didn't suspect anything while helping them out...).
 
Today, again, at the work place, I found it annoying that something which I had identified in 5 minutes and asked the team to document, did not get documented even after 2 days of analysis on their part...What was worst was that, they then argued with me about how I was unwilling to listen to them...I finally lost it and told them to go back and rework...They did and my initial finding was right...but, the team didn't even have the courtesy to apologise for the error or even acknowledge it and meekly went about documenting it...Thankfully, it was a quantifiable issue. Often at work, we have to take a stance on qualitative issues, and I find people shouting me down....I somehow, find it easier to let go of an argument rather than lose my peace of mind over it. (any fight, even if I win, makes me upset)  - this also has been pointed out to me during appraisal meetings - that I should stand up for what I believe is right. Multiple instances of being proven right later has still not convinced me enough to fight for what I am sure is the right approach....I have also seen credit for my work being happily taken by other people....

Another major irritant is the inability to take ownership and stand by your actions and decisions....I hate it when people say (either to me or to others) that they didn't say the truth because 'I thought you will not like it' ...When did your integrity become a function of my reaction???
 
On other news, my son is thoroughly confused....His teacher in an attempt to teach sharing had asked him to show his work to his friends during class hours...and then chided him for doing it during a dictation...He is too young to understand the difference...so he tells me now -  "In dictation, you cannot copy or show, and you should not give me an eraser..Instead you should put a big X when I go wrong..."And then proceeded to cry his heart out....I do not know what I can do to build his confidence that he is great as he is - dictation or otherwise....Teachers who do not know child psychology do more harm than good....
 
All of this is making me feel thoroughly blue on a Friday :( ...So much for Women's Day ....
 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Interestingly, I chanced upon this article a few minutes before I read your piece..Looks like, you're not alone in your pain:)

http://india.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/23/an-open-letter-to-indias-graduating-classes/

- Meena chechi
Anuradha said…
You can build his confidence by explaining the difference between class hours and dictation? This will prevent the copying that you spoke about, earlier? :-)
Tinkerbells said…
@meena chechi: Interesting article. Written by someone in my firm :)...so no wonder pain points are alike :P

@anu: yes, tried telling him the difference between class hours and dictation - but it is difficult - the seating arrangement is the same, the paper they use is the same, the teacher is the same...so he doesn't understand why when he writes 'hat' some times he has to show his classmates (which he doesn't like to and was forced to learn) and is given an eraser to correct his mistakes; but the moment the teacher says 'dictation' suddenly, friends turn enemies, and the eraser vanishes and time limits come in....he is trying to process it, but is spending all his waking hours trying to figure out the difference...forces me to give him practice dictation and keeps worrying - one day he made me sit with him for a full 2 hours while he practised all his letters, numbers and words - and all this is totally unnecessary 'cos when his dictation paper actually came home, he had done well...so I guess he is worrying about his friends getting big X marks, and how he is unable to help....
Now I am trying to tell myself to take a deep breath and that it is all part of 'growing up'...

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